Grateful Head
by LoveInSilence
Summary: Edward needs a new haircut. He's referred to Jasper, top stylist at Grateful Head Salon. He might try to deny it, but Edward can't resist the mounting attraction to Jasper. Completely new and foreign, how will Edward react? AH exj slash
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This plot belongs to me.**

**A/N: This is my first, and possibly last foray into the world of slash. That means m/m action. If you are offended by hot, sweaty, horny men together, I suggest you stop now. If you're into that kind of thing, read away. And let me know if this passes as suitable, sexy slash. **

* * *

"Welcome to Grateful Head. Do you have an appointment?" A cute blonde with ultra short hair glanced up at me from her iPhone.

"Um, yes. With Jasper?"

I had no idea what to expect from a guy with a name like Jasper. In fact, I had no idea what to expect at all. I didn't even want to be here. To me, hair was just another hassle to deal with. Why would I pay upwards of fifty bucks when I could go to a Super Cuts or something?

"Ooh, J's the _man_. You'll absolutely _love _his work. Those hands should be insured!" From the sounds of it, you'd think Jasper was a surgeon. Who the hell says that about a stylist?

"Right. Ok." I turned around to find a seat in the crowded waiting area. Magazines were strewn about on chairs, desks, and tucked into racks. It seemed the majority of this salon's clientele was female. Though there were a few men sitting impatiently, waiting for their turn. They all looked…gay.

And wasn't that the problem? I had been struggling, for what seemed like a lifetime, to rid people's absurd notion of me being homosexual. Not that there was anything wrong with that. I just liked women. A lot. In fact, I loved women. I loved their tits, their asses, their pussies. Yet, everywhere I went, people just naturally assumed I liked men. Even my own family, who had seen me on countless dates with women, joked about it.

Alice was the worst. My annoying, younger sister always made a point to introduce me to "nice, single guys." They were, I suppose, good looking. And they always seemed _interested_ in me. It would've been flattering had it not also been so disconcerting. Did I give off some kind of gay wavelength? Set off their gaydars?

I tried bringing it up to Tanya, the girl I had been casually dating, or rather fucking. But I'm pretty sure she thought I was joking. Or maybe even fishing for compliments. I don't know. She probably didn't care either way because I always made sure she came at least twice during our visits together. As long as she got hers, Tanya was a happy girl.

"Edward?" A deep, male voice brought me back to the here and now.

I looked up and saw a blonde man that was probably around the same age as me. He wore a simple grey V neck t-shirt with dark wash jeans that were just tight enough to have me feeling uncomfortable for looking at him. I noticed the bottoms were rolled up just barely enough to see his ankles and show off blue boat shoes.

_Does it make me sound gay that I'm looking at his outfit?_

I didn't think any of his clothes necessarily screamed _homo_. Plenty of guys in the area wore those. But while they came across as arrogant, douche bag, preppies, this guy seemed to make it look casual and relaxed. Jasper didn't look gay, especially since his outfit was something I'd wear myself. He looked normal, straight, safe.

Except the hair. It was long, tied back from his face. A few strands had fallen out and framed his face. The look would've been really girly, if it weren't for his very obviously masculine face. Still, it seemed kind of femmy. Kind of.

So was he gay? Or was he straight?

"Yeah, that's me." I got up and walked towards him. By the look of Jasper, he seemed pretty easy going, his casual stance very telling. That made me feel better. Only, when I remembered how close we'd be and the expectation to "chat" while he worked, I felt worse.

"So you're Tanya's boy, hm?" He looked me up and down quickly, as if taking an ocular inventory like I did, before returning to my face.

"Um, I guess you could call me that." I wondered why he called me her boy instead of boyfriend.

"I'm Jasper." He held out a hand which I shook quickly, not wanting to linger too long and give off the wrong vibe. "It's nice to meet you." He smirked at me before turning to lead me towards his station.

I followed behind him, trying to avoid looking at his ass, those tight-ish jeans drawing my eyes down there. But I didn't enjoy the view or anything. I just couldn't help it. It was just, right there, in front of me.

_It is a pretty nice ass though. He must work out._

Jasper swiveled the chair around so I could sit, brought out his cutter's cape, and shook it out. Meanwhile, I was busy watching the way his arms looked while he moved. Serious definition. He had to work out.

_Wonder if he could give me a few pointers._

"Take a seat, Edward." He was smirking again as I peeled my eyes away from him. Did he think I was checking him out?

Mumbling at him, I sat my ass down, averting all eye contact. He wrapped the cape around me, buttoning it behind my neck. His fingers brushed against the skin there and I felt goose bumps break out on my arms. Not to mention a weird chill crawled up my back.

"You cold?" Shit, he had noticed me shiver.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Ok, so what are we doing today?" His fingers were running through my hair now, though it looked like a common practice based on Jasper's casual expression. He probably did that with all his clients, trying to, quite literally, get a feel for what he was working with.

Still, it felt really good.

"Um," I had to try and not pay attention to the gentle tugging of my hair. "I don't really know. I was just told I _had _to come here so you could take care of this." I pointed to my messy hair.

"Right, for the hair." His lips turned down at one corner, almost like a frown.

"So I guess I'm open for suggestions."

"Well, you already have pretty amazing hair." I felt my cheeks warm from a blush due to his…compliment. "But we definitely want to take some bulk out of it." As if to illustrate his point, he tugged again at the mop on my head.

"Mmm." The sound just slipped out despite trying to not give off any signs of liking what he was doing.

"I was thinking it would look good if-"

"Hey man, if you're as good as everyone says you are, I trust you. Have your way with me."

Jasper was smirking as he came around front of the chair. He extended his hand to me, which confused me, until he said, "Time for your shampoo."

O.O

I had a towel around my neck and was reclined back with my head in a giant sink. Jasper was leaning over me, hands stretched out to the water controls I knew had to be there. The sound of running water filled my ears soon after. And before I knew it, I felt the spray hit my hair as Jasper's hand ran through it. It worked its way from the crown of my head to the nape of my neck, slowly untangling the knots. His movements, along with the hot water were really relaxing.

"Is this too hot for you Edward?"

"No, it feels great." I avoided looking at him, still feeling a little uncomfortable at our proximity.

"Good." Both the water and his hand left just then. "I'm going to use our seaweed shampoo today. It's got extracts that-"

I stopped listening the second Jasper's hands came back to my head. What he was doing felt…fantastic. His fingers were digging into my scalp, massaging it. Every once and awhile his nails would scrape against me and a shiver ran through my body. I could've moaned from how good it felt, only that would've been way too embarrassing.

Still, I couldn't ignore how uncomfortably tight my pants were as I felt myself getting hard from another man's hands on me.

_Not because you like men. Just because it feels good._

I may know that, but nobody else would. I brought my right foot to cross over my left leg, hoping to hide any kind of awkward boner from Jasper's view.

Looking up, I took in the sight of him above me, the muscles in his arms tensing every time he worked on my scalp. His mouth was moving, so I knew he was still talking, but I had no idea what he was saying. I was too focused on how good I felt. Now I knew exactly what that girl had meant about insuring his hands.

Jasper looked down, noticing my attention on him, and smiled. "Never had a scalp massage before, huh?"

"Uh, well, no."

"Do you like it?" His fingers dug in deeper.

"Yes." I think I may have moaned a little bit this time, but I was hoping he didn't notice that.

"Good."

Jasper stayed silent for the rest of my washing, the smallest trace of a smile on his lips. I wondered what was going on inside his head. Then I wondered why I cared.

O.O

"So Edward, have any brothers or sisters?" I felt the scissors skim the back of my neck as Jasper 'shaped' my cut. This was probably his fifth attempt at starting a conversation with me. I figured I'd throw him a bone.

"Yeah, one of each." He looked at me expectantly, as if he wanted me to elaborate. "Uh, my sister Alice, is younger than me. She's a senior in high school. And Emmett, my older brother, just graduated from UCSF."

"I always wondered what it would be like growing up with a brother. All I have is my younger sister. She's kind of like one of the guys because she loves the typical guy stuff like sports and cars and shit. Only, none of my friends really see her like that. They all want to hook up with her."

"My friends are the same way with Alice. And she's not even 18. Drives me fucking nuts."

"Seriously. It's so annoying and obvious whenever they try and arrange these weird double dates, just for a chance to go out with her." Jasper's fingers were combing through my hair now, testing the length.

"That actually happened with me. My parents asked me to 'accompany' Alice on a date because they were so nervous for their baby daughter to go out." Just thinking about that night made me groan audibly. What a disaster.

"I'm sure that went over well." Jasper laughed loudly, bringing a smile to my face.

"Oh yeah, not only did I have to endure Alice glaring at me from the opposite side of the table at Olive Garden, I also had the misfortune of taking out some dumb girl in my class. Not a good time."

"What's the matter, didn't like any of the girls at your high school?" Jasper chuckled quietly, almost to himself.

"Nah, none of them were my type. I mean, the girls never really caught my eye and were really obnoxious."

"Same with the girls at my school, man. My parents never understood why I didn't date more." Buzzing filled my ears as Jasper powered on a small trimmer. He moved it along the back of my neck, cleaning up the edges. The small vibrations felt good against my skin.

"Well, they could've tried setting you up with guys like mine did." To say I was shocked at admitting that would be the understatement of the fucking century. Why had I blurted that out? As if he wants to hear that my parents thought I was gay.

"Really?" Jasper's eyes went wide with surprise. And though the buzzing sound continued, I didn't feel the pressure on my skin anymore. "Wow, that's really…understanding of them."

"Yeah, my parents are pretty chill. It was just kind of embarrassing, ya know?"

Jasper frowned at me. "No, I don't."

Shit, had I offended him?

"I just meant, embarrassing that they thought I couldn't handle my own life and felt the need to try and set me up with anyone." I didn't want him thinking I was some homophobe, especially if he was actually gay.

"That makes sense. Still, you have to admit not every parent would be so understanding they'd try and set up their gay son on dates."

"True. If I were gay, that would be pretty damn amazing of them."

After a beat of silence I asked, "So what is that thing you're using?"

"It's called a Peanut." He brought the tool back to my neck and resumed buzzing the small hairs off there.

"Feels nice."

O.O

Conversation between Jasper and me flowed pretty easily after that. He was a funny guy and seemed to sense when I didn't know what to say. Not that I was socially retarded or anything, but sometimes I just got awkward during pauses in conversation. He filled the gaps nicely and asked questions without coming across as pushy.

So I was surprised when Jasper announced he was done and handed me a mirror. That had gone by fast. He turned me around so I could check out the back of my head. Checking myself out I realized I really liked what he had done. My hair looked good and I wondered if I had been missing out by going to crappy hair stylists my whole life.

"Well?" He looked a little nervous to hear my reaction.

"I really like it Jasper. You did an amazing job."

His face broke out in a wide smile. "So you think you'll come back to see me again?"

"I don't think I can ever go back to seven dollar cuts again. Seems you're stuck with me."

"Great, then let's get you set up for your next appointment."

He led me up front to where the blonde girl was still staring at her iPhone. When she noticed us approaching, she looked up and giggled.

"You look good." She was staring just at me now, an odd expression on her face. "Did you like Jasper's handy work?"

I couldn't stop the blush that heated my face.

"Will you set up Edward with an appointment six weeks from now?"

"Sure thing, boss." Jane winked at Jasper then turned back to me. "Once you've had Jazz, you never go back, Edward."

"Jane!"

"What? It's true. Don't act like it's not true Jazzy."

Jazzy?

"Whatever, just do your job, you munchkin."

Jane started typing away at her iMac. After asking me preferred dates and times, we settled on an early Saturday afternoon visit, six weeks from now. She wrote all the information on a small business card, swiped my debit card, and went back to her phone.

I realized Jasper was still standing there so I turned to say goodbye. "Thanks again Jasper. It was good meeting you."

"The pleasure was all mine."

O.O

The next day I met up with Tanya, who was just dying to see my new haircut. We agreed on lunch at a local café and would probably head back to my apartment after we were done.

"Ooh Edward, you look so good. God, you're like ten times hotter with that hair."

I didn't see how that was possible but still felt a small surge of satisfaction from her compliment.

"Glad to know you liked it."

"Let me show you just how much I like it."

We hurried back to my place, Tanya's hands never leaving my hair for more than a minute. I had no idea she was so turned on by hair.

"You better fuck me right now, baby, or I'm gonna die." Tanya was always a little bit overdramatic.

We stripped naked and got into bed, Tanya on her back with legs spread wide open for me. I crawled in between them and felt her legs wrap around my waist. She told me she was ready for me, didn't want to waste time with any foreplay. I was ok with that. I sunk in deep, loving the feel of her wrapped around me. She came three times before I let myself go. And we fucked twice more before she had to get home, Tanya cooing as she left about how unbelievable the sex had been.

It was just okay for me.

O.O

Six weeks later I was back at Grateful Head. A part of me was nervous to see Jasper again, wondering if I'd get along with him as easily as I had before. It was stupid really, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling that way.

"Hey Edward." Jane looked up at me as I went to sign in. "Nice to see you back."

"Yeah, sure." I made my way to the reception area, but this time didn't have a chance to sit before I heard Jasper.

"Edward!" Jasper was standing there, this time in a baby blue Lacoste polo and dark wash jeans. "It's good to see you." He was smiling and…had completely different hair than last time.

"You cut your hair?"

"Ah, you noticed huh?" He ran his hand over the stripe of hair that ran from front to back. The rest of it had been buzzed off, probably at a one setting. The overall effect was of a very respectful Mohawk. "Do you like it?"

I didn't even hesitate with my answer. "Yes."

"Thanks." He blushed again as he continued to stroke the short hair there. "Shall we then?"

We made our way back to Jasper's station. Once I was seated and had the cape draped over me, Jasper got right down to business.

"What are we doing today?"

"Um, I don't know?"

"Did you want to try something new?" I noticed he touched his hair again. I wondered how recently it had been cut.

"Like what?"

Jasper looked like he was mentally trying new hair styles on me. "Well, you could do something shorter."

I thought for a moment before responding. "Nah, I don't think I want it any shorter. I like it a little bit longer."

"Oh, okay." He started rubbing his hair again before opening a drawer to get his tools. "We'll stick with what you like then."

O.O

It had been several months since my first visit to Grateful Head and I was beginning to almost regard Jasper as a friend. We didn't see each other outside of the salon, but we discussed a lot of stuff. Anything from as trivial as favorite colors to more important things revolving around politics and shit. And despite not hanging out on a regular basis, I felt closer to him than my other friends. There was just something calming about his presence and I knew I could talk to him about anything.

When I walked into the salon, Jasper was already waiting for me. His hair had grown quite a bit, resulting in some kind of pseudo faux hawk. Kind of like David Beckham. _I like soccer. That's how I know about Beckham's hair. Not for any other reason. _When I mentioned his new style, Jasper blushed again. For someone so good with hair, he seemed almost shy about his own.

We had established a pretty good routine, where I didn't need to be directed or shown what to do. Usually our conversation remained light while he shampooed me. When I got back in the seat, we'd get into more in depth topics. Today's seemed to be music.

"You like them too? You know they're coming to town soon, right?" Jasper set his scissors down and stepped in front of me.

"Yeah, I know. Unfortunately when I went to buy tickets they'd already sold out. I'm pretty bummed about it."

I noticed Jasper's face light up as he listened to me. "Well, I have an extra ticket if you'd like to come with."

"Wow. Really? Are you sure?"

How fucking amazing would it be if Jasper let me come with him and his friends to the concert? I wondered if someone had bailed last minute, thus giving him the extra ticked. But what did it matter as long as I was going?

"Definitely." His smile widened as he came forward to clean up my sideburns. "That is, unless you'd feel weird coming with." I noticed a look of apprehension on his face now.

"Why would I feel weird?"

"I don't know. I guess because you're my client or whatever, and some people don't like going out with people they work with or for." He looked a little nervous as he spoke, which I didn't understand. I could give a fuck about that kind of stuff.

"Kind of like not mixing business with pleasure, or something, right?"

"Exactly."

"It doesn't bother me at all." I smiled, hoping he'd know I was being sincere.

Jasper was a great guy and I always had a good time when I came in to get my hair cut. It would be interesting to see him outside the salon, but I figured it was a good step in the direction of actually becoming friends. Because I really did want to be friends, not just acquaintances. I liked Jasper.

O.O

"Ooh, you're going on a date with your stylist?" Alice was on the phone, bugging me. As usual.

"It's not a date, Alice. We're just going to a concert together."

I heard a lot of giggling before she spoke up again. "_Together. _Riiight."

"Not like that!" Shit, I had to think through my choice of words better. "A group of his friends is going and he invited me to tag along."

I could almost see the sad pout through the phone. Alice had to be disappointed. Ever since she'd heard about Jasper, she'd taken a strong interest in our "budding friendship." In fact, it seemed what she wanted most was for Jasper and me to be…more than friends. Alice would never give up on the crazy notion of me being gay.

"Well, you'll still get a chance to be a whole lot closer."

"Alice, c'mon. I can't get into this right now. Jazz will be over any minute. And I still don't know what to wear."

"So let me get this straight. You called for advice. On what to wear. For an outing with your friend _Jazz._"

"Nothing gay about that." Though looking back at what I said, I guess I could see how gay that sounded.

"I'm sure _Jazz _will like whatever you wear."

In no mood, and really in a hurry, I snapped at her. "Just help me out okay? I don't have time to waste."

"Ooh, someone's nervous." I wanted to bite her head off, but she kept talking. "How about…black jeans, plain white t shirt, and your black leather jacket?"

"That seems kind of…boring, don't you think?"

"I'm not even going to say anything to that."

After hanging up with Alice and getting dressed, I checked myself out. I had adopted the new habit of actually styling my hair, thanks to Jasper, and used some wax to make the "messy" look more subtle. I didn't look half bad. Of course, I'd be with just Jasper and his friends, so it didn't matter. And even if there were some hot girls present, I think I'd feel weird hooking up with him right there. It shouldn't matter what I looked like, but I guess I did secretly want to impress Jasper.

As if thinking about him summoned him here, a knock on the door announced his arrival. I opened the door and saw Jasper standing there, somewhat awkwardly, wearing a black vest left open over a red t shirt. And tight jeans.

"You look good."

"What?" Jasper's eyes peeled wide at my words. I'm sure mine did too. I hadn't meant to say that.

"I mean, you just always look so, uh, put together. I like your choice in clothes I guess."

"Well thank you. You look good too."

I looked away at his compliment. It was kind of strange and I didn't know how to feel about what we both had just said.

"Let's go?"

Jasper nodded and led the way. Luckily he didn't mention that weird exchange between us.

"Leave your jacket in the car or you're gonna get hot, Edward."

We'd parked near The Fillmore and left all the stuff we didn't want to carry around inside in the car. It was a little chilly without the jacket, but I knew Jasper was right. If I kept it on, I'd be sweating bullets in the standing room only venue.

"So where are we meeting up with your friends?"

"Friends?" Jasper looked nonplussed. "What friends?"

"I thought we were meeting up with a group of your friends. Didn't you say that?"

"No, I never said that." His expression grew weary as I, no doubt, let the nerves show on my face.

I thought back to our conversation and realized he never _had_ said that. Only that he had an extra ticket. I'd just assumed it was from a friend backing out. Why had I assumed that?

"So who's ticket am I using?" I don't know why that information was suddenly important. But as we waited in line to get inside, I felt the need to know

"This guy I know was supposed to come. But we kind of got in a fight and he blew me off." Jasper looked annoyed while he talked. "No big deal."

"Oh, okay." I fidgeted next to him as we waited our turn to get pat down.

"Does that make you uncomfortable?" When I looked up at him questioningly, he continued. "It just being you and me. You said you thought there'd be more people. If you knew it was just the two of us, would you have declined?"

I thought for the space of a heartbeat before answering. "Nah, I'd still have said yes, Jazz."

His only response was one lifted eyebrow at me.

_What?_

As the drums kicked off the beat and the bass started up, bodies everywhere surged forward to get closer to the stage. As the crowd pulsed with the music, I noticed Jasper and I were side by side, arms brushing against each other as we moved. I worried what he thought about it, but when I looked up, Jasper was focused on the music completely.

"God, they're so good live!" He shouted so to be heard above all the noise.

Lyrics joined into the mix and I lost myself to the music. Our surroundings blurred together. Well, except for Jasper. His presence by my side was as strong as ever. The heat between us seemed more intense than the crush of hundreds of sweaty bodies. He moved slightly to the beat, and each step, swivel, and rocking motion was intensified.

At some point, due to the passing fans, I ended up in front of Jasper. I tried to ease my way back beside him, but the second I had moved, my previous spot had been filled by someone else. Turning my head to make sure he was still there, I saw Jasper smile at me.

"Don't worry, I'll stay close so we don't get separated." He stepped forward, closing what little distance there was before.

The heat I had felt before grew one hundred fold as his front pressed up against my back. Jasper continued rocking to the music, and would occasionally bump into me hard as, I'm sure, someone knocked into him. It felt wrong to admit, but the sensation of him behind me wasn't so unpleasant.

A few songs into the set, some big ass motherfucker moved past us, sending me flying backwards into Jasper. Being so close to me already, he only had to reach his arms around my waist to steady me. "I got ya, Edward."

"Thanks, Jazz." I found my balance and moved out of his hold.

"You keep calling me Jazz. Did you know that?"

"What?" My head jerked around to see him smiling at me once again. I'd been calling him Jazz? Shit. "I'm sorry. I must've picked it up from Jane. She calls you that all the time."

"It's okay." His hands went to my waist again as he leaned forward. I could feel hot breath against my ear as he spoke for me to hear. "I like it."

Warmth spread through my body at his words. And then I freaked out. "I need to use the bathroom." Jasper let go of me and gave me room to move. Or bolt. Which is exactly what I did.

Alone in the bathroom, I tried to calm my racing heart. The thought of what just happened was scary as shit. Did I just get turned on by a guy? What the hell is wrong with me?

_It's gotta be the drinks we had before the band's set. Or the weed smoke wafting around on all sides of us. I'm reading too far into Jasper's actions. And my reactions._

When I walked back to where Jasper stood, his nonchalance put me at ease. He didn't try to touch me the rest of the night but kept up pleasant running commentary about the song choice. He never looked upset or hurt either.

_See? You were imagining things._

O.O_  
_

I continued going to see Jasper every six or so weeks. In between my appointments, Jasper and I hung out. Whether it was getting a drink after work, grabbing a bite to eat, or going to more concerts, we fell into an easy pattern of friendship. My weirdness from the night of the concert never came up. Though I did take to calling him Jazz when we hung out.

However easy our friendship, though; I couldn't keep from looking at him differently. I noticed small things like the new shoes he'd bought one weekend and wore when we drove into San Jose for a concert. I noticed whenever he discovered a new band, since it would be on repeat in his car or at work. I noticed when he was happy, excited, upset, or aggravated. I noticed the way he filled out his clothes, as they always fit to his form well. But I especially noticed Jasper's hair. He'd kept growing it until his faux hawk stood a good three or so inches from his head. I envied his ability to transform his look with hair.

"I think I want to try something new today, Jazz."

"Oh yeah?" I nodded, watching his hands in my hair through the mirror. "What do you want me to do to you?"

Another thing I kept noticing? Double entendres in everything Jasper said.

"I'm thinking shorter. On the sides. But I'm not the expert here. Just make me look good."

"Easy then. You always look good."

When Jasper stepped away so we could both admire his handiwork, I had to admit, I looked fucking good.

"Have you talked to Tanya lately?" His question, while sweeping up my hair, seemed really random.

"Well, we hook up every once in awhile. But there's not really a lot of talking go on, if you know what I mean." I looked up and smirked at Jasper, only to stop from the look on his face.

"Does she ever talk about me?" The blush on his face made it seem like he was embarrassed to ask the question.

I had to think for a minute before I could respond. "Yeah I guess, sometimes. She doesn't say much though. Usually she asks how I'm liking your work. Why?"

"No reason…" He looked down rather intently at the hairs he continued to sweep up.

"Liar. What's going on?"

"I don't know. Tanya and I are kind of friends and I guess I just wondered what she says about me?"

A sudden thought occurred to me. "Do you guys have, like, a history together or something?" God, wouldn't I feel like a dumbass for talking about a girl he used to fuck.

But Jasper just laughed, making me feel stupid for worrying. "I guess you could say that."

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have said that about me and her hooking up if I'd known."

"It's not a big deal, Edward. I was just curious." He didn't look curious though. He looked, well, unhappy.

"Are you jealous?" Maybe he still wanted to be with Tanya.

"What?" His eyes shot up to mine. "No I'm not. Well, I guess, I mean, maybe I am. But no. Not like you think."

_Huh?_

"That didn't make any sense, Jazz."

"That's ok. It's not supposed to."

O.O

I rolled off Tanya, giving myself time to catch my breath before getting cleaned up and dressed. But as I lay next to her, my mind drifted to thoughts of Jasper. Weird. And wildly inappropriate since I was naked and spent…Still, I kept thinking about his odd remarks at the salon. Wondering if I had talked about him to Tanya.

"How do you know Jasper?" There, I said it.

"Hmm? She opened one eye to look at me, then closed it again before answering. "We just happen to be friends with similar circles of people I guess."

"What?"

"You know," she sounded annoyed, "some of my friends are friends with some of his. And sometimes we all get together. That's how we know each other."

"Oh, okay."

Tanya didn't say anything for a few minutes. I assumed she had nodded off, until she popped both eyes open and asked, "Why did you want to know?"

"Um, he just wondered if you and I ever talked about him. Did you guys used to date?"

"No," she giggled next to me. "But he is a hottie, huh?"

"I don't think you should be talking about other men when I'm still in your bed, do you?"

Tanya rolled on her side to better see me. "Do you think Jasper's hot?"

"What?" I was bewildered by her question.

"Do you think he's hot?"

"I don't look at guys that way, Tanya."

"Answer the question." She was staring me down and it kind of freaked me out.

"I guess he's an attractive guy." I could admit that without sounding gay, right?

"That's not what I asked."

I got up, searching for my clothes, annoyed and not wanting to answer her. Because she didn't deserve an answer. It was a stupid question anyway. Every day I grew more confused about what I felt for him. Tanya wasn't helping any.

"I gotta go." I didn't bother with a goodbye hug or kiss. Tanya and I weren't like that. Still, my abrupt departure was kind of rude, even for us.

"I think you just answered my question." The weirdest smile curled on her lips as I rushed for the door.

O.O

Jasper and I met up for drinks after he was done at Grateful Head. As I sat waiting for him, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Tanya's question stuck with me long after I left, long after I tried to "sleep it off." I didn't want to answer it because honestly, I didn't know how to. Did I think Jasper was hot? Was that why I paid so much attention to him? Was that why I reacted the way I did when he stood close to me at the concert? And why was always so comfortable around him?

When I saw Jasper walk in, I was even more agitated. I didn't know how to act around him. This weird attraction, if that's even what it was, made me second guess how to act around him. What if I said or did something and he got weirded out thinking I wanted him?

"Edward, what's up?" He clapped a hand to my back and I jumped at the contact.

"Not much." I scooted away as discretely as possible when he sat down next to me at the bar.

"Is everything okay?" When I didn't look up to meet his eyes, he bent down to look at me. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, Jazz. I just, don't feel very good I guess."

"Why didn't you say something earlier, Edward? We didn't have to meet up."

"It's fine. I'm okay. Just a little off today. No worries." I sat up and turned to him to hopefully convince him not to bother me about it.

"If you're sure…Hey, hopefully you feel better soon."

"Why's that?"

"My birthday's on Saturday and I'm having a little party." Jasper's smile was so genuine I smiled back, though it morphed into a frown when I realized something.

"You never told me it was your birthday. We've been hanging out for awhile and you never even mentioned it. What gives?"

"I don't know when _your_ birthday is."

"That's because you never asked."

"Same with you." He had a funny little smirk on his face. "So you gonna tell me when your birthday is?"

"June 20th."

"Okay." The smirk turned into a fully fledged smile. "I'm storing that info away for future use."

For whatever reason, that made me feel good.

"So party, huh?" The awkwardness I felt had disappeared during our conversation. I had no idea how he did it.

"Yeah, and you better be there."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Jazz."

O.O

I resisted the urge to ask Alice for wardrobe help again. If she knew it was for Jasper's party, she'd go fucking nuts on me. So instead I kept it simple with jeans and a polo. As I shrugged on the green Lacoste, I wondered if Jasper would notice we liked similar clothes.

_Why does it matter what he thinks about your clothes?_

Shaking my head, I left for the party.

When I pulled up outside Jasper's house, I saw a ton of cars parked along the street. I hadn't given much thought to his other friends, mostly because he never mentioned them. And they never came out with us. I felt hurt. Did he not want his friends to meet me? Was he ashamed of me?

Jasper opened the door wide when I rang the bell, huge smile stretching his face. It helped erase any worries about his reasoning for never talking about his other friends. He looked so happy to see me. Of course, some of that could be a result of his practically empty cup of beer.

"Edward! I'm so glad you made it!" He threw his arms around me and hugged tight, surprising the shit out of me. But I hugged back, not wanting to make him feel bad for the sudden show of affection. "Where's my birthday present?"

"Oh shit, Jazz. I totally spaced it. I didn't even think to get you something. I'm sorry."

"I'm kidding, Edward. You don't have to get me anything."

"No, I want to. I'll give you something later."

"Well then, I'm looking forward to it." Jasper winked at me and pulled me inside.

Normally I would have taken the time to look around, but there were so many people there I got too distracted. Jasper had a wide variety of friends. It seemed everywhere I looked, there was a different clique chatting together. I felt very out of place.

_I don't really belong in any of these groups._

Before I could let anxiety set in and slip out unnoticed, Jasper slung an arm around my shoulder and half dragged me around his living room to say hello to people. Everything was a blur as I got drink after drink. Each person we met encouraged Jasper to have a birthday shot or a birthday beer, and because I was with him I had one too. My body was feeling pleasantly buzzed by the time cake was brought out by the hottest blonde chick I had ever seen.

"Happy birthday, big brother!"

So this was Rosalie. Jasper wasn't lying. She was gorgeous with her wavy blonde hair and long lean legs. Not to mention those tits. If she was into sports and cars as much as Jasper said she was, Rosalie would be every guy's wet dream.

_So why wasn't I more interested?_

"Aww, Rosie, you shouldn't have!"

A rousing chorus of the birthday song started as Rosalie lit each candle. Jasper looked in his element as he soaked in the cheers and smiles around him. I sang along too, unable to take my eyes off him when he finally leaned over to blow out the candles. What was it about him that drew my attention so?

"What did you wish for, Jas?" someone called out from the crowd.

"I can't tell you that!" He laughed loudly for awhile, but sobered when he saw me, eyes suddenly serious.

He seemed so casual, despite it being _his _party, in worn, holey jeans and a black tee. Maybe it was the alcohol replacing the blood in my veins, but Jasper looked really good all of a sudden. And the way he was looking at me…

I couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through me while caught under his gaze.

"Oh Jasper!" Tanya appeared out of nowhere and snuggled up against his side.

_What the fuck is she doing here?_

The most irrational spurt of jealousy shocked me as she led Jasper to the make shift dance floor. The music didn't really call for it, but soon Tanya was grinding against him, rubbing her ass all over his crotch. I wanted her to stop.

_Are you jealous of Tanya? Or of Jasper?_

_I…don't…know._

My hand found the nearest cup and brought it up to my mouth. I drank without thinking, feeling the need to wash down the bitter and strange thoughts coursing through me. I was well aware, as I made my way toward Jasper and Tanya, that I was fully drunk. I was also aware that I could end up doing something really stupid if I wasn't careful.

Rational thought had long since gone. I walked up behind Tanya, who was now facing Jasper as they danced. I pressed myself up against her ass, sandwiching her between us. She stiffened at first, but relaxed at my touch when she realized it was me and not some creep. Jasper, however, stopped moving all together.

"C'mon, Jazz. Dance with us," I slurred out the words, looking him right in the eye.

He seemed apprehensive but began moving with us. My hands were on Tanya's waist, but with Jasper so close, I couldn't help but brush my fingertips along his hips and lower stomach. I watched in awe as he tilted his head back and moaned, crushing Tanya – and me – closer to him.

God, watching him like that was making me think bad thoughts, getting me hard. I blamed it on the alcohol.

"Fuck, that feels good." It looked like Jasper was speaking right to me, bypassing the shorter –and much drunker- Tanya.

Was he hard right now? Because of me? Or because of her?

Wanting to know if I was the one affecting him, feeling bolder, I took my hands off Tanya and gripped onto Jasper completely. Tanya might be uncomfortably pressed between us but I couldn't care less. She could leave really, and I'd be okay with that. Her ass provided a nice friction for my hard on, but I could've just rubbed against…fuck. What was I saying?

"Edward." Jasper stared at me with heavy lidded eyes. His reached up, bypassing Tanya's shoulders and grazing my neck slowly. The sensation was at such odds with the fast paced dancing. But it felt really fucking nice.

"Guys? You're squishing me." Tanya was drunkenly laughing. "I gotta pee." She wriggled out and walked away.

Her sudden departure broke whatever weird spell Jasper and I were under. I stood there, not knowing what to do. I wanted to grab hold of Jasper and dance more. I wanted to run and figure out what the hell was going on with me.

Jasper made the first move, stepping towards me and grabbing my hips tightly. "Tanya likes this kind of shit."

"Huh?" I couldn't think over the touch of his hands on me.

"She gets turned on by the idea of two guys. That's why she wanted you to come to my salon so badly. She was hoping…"

"For a threesome?"

"Yeah. She's wanted me for awhile, but knew-"

Thinking maybe this could work to my advantage I asked, "So what, we'd double team her?" If we both fucked Tanya, that would make this, whatever it was, not so weird. Right?

"Yeah, she's into that too." Too? "But she likes, uh, watching two guys together more."

"What?" How did I not know this about her?

"She likes getting fucked while whoever she's with gets fucked too." I had a feeling Jasper wouldn't be so bold with his statements if it weren't for the alcohol.

"What?" I heard the words but…

Jasper shook his head slowly. "Edward, she likes guy on guy action."

"Oh."

Somehow, as we talked, our dancing resumed. Jasper's hands hadn't moved off me and, looking down, I saw mine on his chest. I rubbed my hands up and down a little bit, feeling the firm muscles, so different than the soft curves I was used to. It didn't feel bad or weird though. It actually felt…good.

"Maybe…" I didn't quite know how to tell him I wanted _something_ from him, with him right now. "Maybe we should, ah, mess with her. You know, make her think…"

"How?" He cut me off, sounding eager.

"We could get closer." I inched toward him to illustrate my point.

When his arms circled around my lower half, pulling us together so our chests pressed together, I knew he was up for it. "Closer's good."

The feel of him against me, no body to separate, was electric. His chest against mine, no need to be gentle as I let the heat between us build. When I felt his hands reach into my back pockets, my body jumped forward a little, surprised and aroused.

Jasper was aroused too. Fuck, he was hard against me. And no way could he not feel my dick against him. Especially when he ground into me.

"Oh God, Jazz." My eyes closed as I tilted my head closer to him.

"Edward," his breath was warm on my face. Opening my eyes, I saw he was _right there._ Was he going to…

"I'm baaaack!" The shrill voice of Tanya broke Jasper off mid sentence. _Worst timing ever, bitch. _"Did you guys miss me?"

"Not really."

"Shut up, Edward. I know you did." She went to push me jokingly, except with the hand that was wrapped around her drink.

So naturally, her beer went all down my front.

"Fuck!" I jumped back, too late, trying to escape the spill.

"Omigod, Edward, I'm soooo sorry!" Her hands were all over me. I think she meant to help clean me off, only she had no napkins or anything.

"Come on man, I'll get you a change of clothes." Jasper grabbed my hand and led me towards a set of stairs.

Tanya tried following us, up until Jasper turned to shoo her off. "Come find me when you're done!" she screamed out after us.

"Ugh, I'm all wet."

Jasper started laughing as he shut his bedroom door behind him. "I think it's kind of funny."

"It is not." I tried glaring at him, but the drunk in me made everything seem funnier than it normally was. Cracking up, I admitted, "Ok so it's kind of funny."

"It's too bad about the shirt though. I really like it." Jasper reached down and gripped the hem of my shirt, tugging it up. "Green, like your eyes."

The sensation of his hands as he pulled my shirt off was so fucking hot. Just like that, the intensity I'd felt dancing with him came back. When my shirt was on the floor, I felt a little self conscience standing in front of Jasper.

_Why? Why am I freaking out like this?_

"Looks like you got some on your pants."

I followed his gaze down to my crotch…the bulge more than obvious in my wet jeans. "I don't suppose you have a pair I can borrow too?" I tried to joke, hoping to distract.

"Yeah, I think we're about the same size." Oh fuck. "Let me help you with that." Before I could say a thing, his hands were at my waist again, this time in the front. At the button of my jeans, slipping it through the hole and working my zipper down.

"Jazz," my voice came out gravelly, "I feel…" I had to stop to clear my throat. "I feel like…" Throat clearing couldn't help the fact that I had no idea what to say. Or how to say what was causing these feelings.

"Like what, Edward?" His knuckles brushed my dick, but held my pants there. My hips bucked up against him. "You feel like…you want this too?"

_Yes._

But I couldn't answer because I was too busy staring at his lips. I wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Would his lips be soft? Chapped? What would he taste like?

_I want to kiss him._

Licking my lips, I leaned forward. Jasper's grip on my pants tightened as he leaned in too. And then we were kissing, any hesitation I thought would be there, absent. We were kissing and it felt so good. His lips were soft, but firm against mine. I was no doubt trembling by the time his tongue lightly traced my lips, never having felt like this before. He kissed me deeper and I could taste faint traces of alcohol on his breath. I'm sure I tasted the same. And that made it so much hotter for some reason.

"I've wanted this…for so long," he said into my mouth.

"Yeah?" I questioned, feeling him pull me over to his bed.

"You have no idea." He sat down on the mattress, hands still on my open jeans.

I was suddenly nervous, standing over him, my pants undone and sagging off. What did he expect to happen tonight? "Shouldn't we get downstairs? It is your party after all."

"They'll live without me." He spread his legs so I could step in closer. Which I did. Being close to him felt too good. "I've wanted you for so long. Fuck the party."

It was like he spoke the magic words that completely turned my brain off. I pushed against his chest roughly and Jasper fell back on his mattress. "I want you too."

I leaned down to kiss Jasper, letting my body fall into his. When our chests were touching again, I felt his legs come up and cross under my ass. The movement brought our groins together. Not quite sure what to do, I moved against him like I would with a girl. It felt so good. Even through the layers of clothes I could feel his cock slide against mine. So different but so right.

"Is this okay, Jazz?"

"More than okay. So good, Edward." His hips lifted to meet mine so I put more weight behind my movements, grinding against him harder. In response, Jasper's hands came up to my ass, dragging my jeans down just enough to now I was pressing against him in just my boxer briefs. "It'd feel even better skin to skin."

I tensed, fear and lust warring for control over my body. I wanted that. But could I actually do that?

"It's okay, baby. I just want to make you feel good." His words were a whisper in my ear. So soothing.

But when he sucked the lobe into his mouth and gripped on to my ass I felt all fear leave me. Lust was ruling my body as I rubbed myself up and down on him. I lifted myself off only to fumble with his pants. Jasper lifted his hips to help, my hands tugging his jeans down to his knees. His cock was hard, outlined underneath briefs. Fuck it was sexy.

When I came back down on top of Jasper, the loss of thick denim only served to heighten my arousal. The thin cotton of our underwear was the only thing to separate us. We began moving again, our lips fused together. Fucking his mouth while my body mimicked fucking motions against his body.

_Goddamn, what would it feel like to actually fuck Jasper? To be inside him?_

"Shit, Jazz," I panted the words against his lips, "I'm gonna…"

"Do it. Edward, I want you to come. Wish you could come in my mouth."

_Christ._

I came to images of Jasper's mouth wrapped around my cock. My body stilled as I did, but Jasper still moved against me, drawing out the sensations in my hyper sensitive body. He was moving erratically below me. I hoped he was close. Jasper had made me feel so good. I wanted him to feel good too.

His head was thrown back, the cords of muscle in his neck tensed. I put my lips to the salty skin, licking up to his Adam's Apple. "Will you come for me?"

"Oh God, Edward!" Jasper held me down as he bucked against me.

"That's it, Jazz. God, you coming against me…"

Jasper groaned loudly as I continued talking in his ear. He was so sexy like that, completely falling apart under me. Fuck, I could watch him come over and over.

"I really hope that was my birthday present." Something sounding like a giggle passed through his lips.

"Birthday present?" The alcohol, on top of the lethargy from coming, was catching up. I felt sluggish and slow.

"Yeah, you said you'd give me a present later. I hope it's this, because what I wanted most was you, Edward."

My brain was too out of it to really think through what he'd just said. "I'm tired, Jazz."

"That's ok. C'mere, baby." Jasper scooted over on the bed, making room for me. His hands beckoned me to him.

"'Kay." I crawled into bed, easing my body next to his. "Night, Jazz. Happy birthday" My arms reached out, searching for him.

"Goodnight, Edward." I felt the brush of his lips against mine, then fell asleep.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This plot belongs to me.  
**  
**a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who alerted/reviewed. I am blown away by the response for this. Seriously so nice.  
Also, because I didn't mention it last time, I owe a lot to my dearest LBA who was/is my "queer eye for the straight girl" pre reader. And who I don't chat with nearly as much as I'd like.**

* * *

_Mm, so comfortable.  
_  
My mind was on the edge of waking, that fuzzy feeling where you could probably drift back asleep if you wanted. I was warm and comfortable, my arms wrapped around a hot body. Hot because there was nothing separating my skin from hers. It felt good, smooth and supple against my chest. I could've lain like that forever, all sleepy and content, except I had to take a piss.

A part of me didn't want to open my eyes and try to hold it for a while longer, just so I could keep enjoying the warmth I was surrounded by. Maybe even fall back asleep. Except the longer I kept still, the stronger the need to go hit me.

I opened my eyes and saw blonde hair. For some reason the sight brought a smile to my face. And after acting like a total creeper and burying my nose in it, I relaxed at the familiar scent. But I didn't know why it was familiar. I had no idea who I was spooning up against.

_Who did I go to bed with last night? God, why do I drink when I can't remember shit in the morning?_  
The most obvious answer was Tanya. I actually shuddered at the thought. Something about her had been bugging me for a while. The thought of being with her now just rubbed me the wrong way. Of course if I was drunk I wouldn't care who I stuck my dick in…

It could've been Jasper's sister, Rosalie. She was gorgeous, sex on legs. I'd be really pissed off though, not remembering a night with her. Especially since, no doubt, Jasper would be pissed and probably forbid me from doing it again.

_Shit, I hope I didn't drunkenly sleep with Jasper's sister.  
_  
Not only did I need to use the bathroom, but my right arm was beginning to tingle and prickle with pain from being stuck under the sleeping body. I flexed and shifted, trying to get free. My hand brushed smooth skin and I felt the smallest of movements against me as the body responded. I couldn't help but smile into the blonde hair, wanting to coax a more discernable reaction.

My hand drifted up, all thoughts of bathrooms and pain forgotten, wanting to cup and fondle a breast. But when I reached my destination, all I felt was hard muscle.

_Whaa?  
_  
That didn't make sense.

Now my hand was on a one way trip downtown. Even though I should've expected it, I still jerked away at the trail of hair below the navel.

_Oh god, what? What is this?  
_  
I pulled away slightly, finally taking in the entirety of my position. Yes I was in bed with a blonde, only it was Jasper. _Jasper. _I was _in bed _with Jasper. _Naked. _Or at least, mostly naked. And why did I have my arms wrapped around him?

_Shit, shit, shit. What did I _do _last night?  
_  
I didn't want to panic, or freak out. But, really, what else could I do? I was _in bed with a guy_ for fuck's sake. The only thing to do was get out of bed. Fast. And not wake him up. Waking up Jasper was not an option. Because if he woke up and saw our current predicament, he'd freak out too. And then things would just get weird. And then, _oh god, what the fuck would I do?  
_  
I managed to slip out of the bed without waking him up. Somehow, I really didn't know. I just kind of, rolled him over a bit and slid my arm out slowly. He made a muffled noise into his pillow, but I didn't stop to think about it. As soon as I was free, I bolted out of bed.

Of course, getting up too fast and moving too quickly only made my head hurt like a bitch. I wanted to pull on my pants – and just why I wasn't wearing pants I didn't even want to think about – but I was in too big of a hurry. Bathroom. That was my destination. I wanted to get there ASAP.

As I walked (kind of ran) to the bathroom, I felt a weird tugging sensation on the skin of my lower stomach. The feeling was a little too familiar and I started freaking out more as I tried to silently run to Jasper's bathroom. I went to pull myself out of my underwear and noticed that the fabric was _sticking_ to me. Needing to investigate things further, I pulled my boxer briefs down all the way and saw something white, flaky and _familiar_on me and the inside of my underwear.

Jesus God, what the fuck happened last night?

I splashed cold water on my face, the next best thing to more sleep and some pain relievers, trying to will away the throbbing in my head and the confusion running through my mind. I longed for a toothbrush because my mouth tasted like shit. But, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. When I bent over to rinse my mouth, sparks of memories starting flashing like some kind of segmented movie.

_Dancing with jasper._  
_My hands on his hips, pulling him to me._  
_My tongue in his mouth._  
_Telling him I wanted him._  
_Pushing him down on the bed while I dry humped him like a horny teenage boy._  
_Coming…  
_  
Oh my God, had I really done that?

_Shit, shit, shit.  
_  
I didn't remember everything that was said and done, but I knew – and not just because of the stain – that I had blown my load. Rubbing against Jasper. I scrubbed angrily at the dried come spot on my lower stomach. Wet toilet paper wasn't the best, but my only option at getting clean. With every hard swipe, bits crumbled off and stuck to my skin.

"Fuck," I cursed as I tossed the useless wad of TP into the garbage.

Sitting down on the closed toilet, I let my head fall into my hands, elbows resting on my knees. What had I done? Had I really taken advantage of a drunken Jasper? I doubt he really knew what was going on. I hardly knew what was going on. All I remembered was this intense surge of lust and want and I basically attacked my friend. What would Jasper think when he woke up? If he remembered what I did last night…would he not want to be my friend anymore?

_What if he worries I'll want to do that again?  
_  
_What if I _do_ want to do that again?  
_  
"Fuck," I repeated, at a loss for what to do. I couldn't just leave, could I? Not with him still asleep. That just seemed rude.

"Edward?" Jasper started knocking on the door. "Is everything okay?" How long had I been in here?

"Yeah," the word croaked out. "I'll be out in a sec."

I tried to compose myself as best I could before opening the bathroom door. Jasper must have been leaning on it, because as I swung it open, he stumbled and fell into me. My hands reached out without thought, gripping his waist and holding him steady. His body was warm against mine, our bare chests pressed together, and I worried I'd end up responding physically to his closeness. I pushed him away before I could do something stupid like get hard, and just barely caught the look of disappointment in his eyes.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"My, uh, head. It's killing me." I looked away before my face could betray me.

"Oh, I've got some aspirin and vitamin C in the medicine cabinet. Here," and as he spoke, Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the bathroom.

I stared down at our two joined hands, not registering what Jasper was doing with the other. His fingers were entwined with mine, our palms pressed together. And his thumb was moving back and forth against my skin. it was all very innocent, but managed to send prickles of want shooting through me. When I saw a handful of pills being thrust in front of my face, I snapped out of it.

"Thanks Jazz."

"No problem, Edward." Jasper smiled at me. "Let me get a bottle of water for you." He walked out of the bathroom, leaving my hand feeling empty and warm with the memory of his.

How was it that I kept responding so…well…to his every attention? It wasn't just the physical stuff that I remembered from last night. His actions just now were so very sweet. Like he really liked me or something. Maybe he was into guys? Maybe he wanted what happened last night?

No, that couldn't be it. He couldn't have. If he wanted me he would've done something before last night. Not like he didn't have ample opportunities to make a move. Right?

"Drink the whole thing." Jasper had snuck back in without me noticing. As I took the bottle of water from him, I realized for the first time that Jasper was in a similar state of undress as me. Only, his underwear was a lot more, uh, revealing than mine. While I swallowed down the pills and chugged the water, I couldn't help zeroing in on the bulge there.

_Probably just morning wood. Not anything to do with me.  
_  
God, why did I even care if it did have to do with me?_  
_  
"Listen, Jasper, I think we should maybe talk." I moved past him, walking back over to his bed. If I had to talk about something uncomfortable, the least I could do was have a soft place to sit.

"Oh great, it's going to be one of _those _talks," Jasper mumbled as he joined me on his bed.

"What?" I looked over at him, but Jasper was very pointedly not looking at me. I coughed, hoping to dislodge the nerves stuck in my throat. "About last night."

"I don't think I want to hear this." He started to get up, but before moving very far I reached over and pulled him back down.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Jasper was finally looking at me.

"Yeah. I shouldn't have done what I did. You know, take advantage of you like that."

I heard a weird choking noise, followed by laughter. "You think you took _advantage _of me? What made you think that?"

"Uh, I don't know. We were both really drunk? And I guess I get horny when I'm drunk and that's probably why I just, like, humped you."_  
_  
"Oh my god, you're so cute."

"Huh?"

"Edward, I wasn't that drunk. I knew what was happening the whole time."

"Huh?"

Jasper shook his head. "How can you not have known I've wanted you forever? I know I was _trying _for subtle, but everyone else that knows us could see it."

"You mean you're gay?"

"Yeah…"

"But I'm not," Jasper raised one eyebrow at me. "I mean, I don't like-" now both were up almost to his hairline. "I've never been with a guy before. How was I supposed to know?"

Jasper was laughing now, as he scooted closer to me. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna kiss you now."

"I, uh, don't know if that's…" Suddenly, having Jasper so close to me, breathing the same air as me, licking his lips and leaning closer still, seemed like a bad idea. I was panicking, I could tell, twitching and trying to subtly shift away from him.

"Edward." He said my name so softly I barely heard it. I craned my neck to hear more, but nothing came.

Except for lips. Warm lips that were soft and tentative against mine. Jasper slowly moved his mouth against mine, almost as if waiting for me to give the okay, to take the next step and deepen the kiss to something more.

I sucked on Jasper's lower lip, just a little bit, almost afraid I'd be grossed out now that I was sober. But I wasn't grossed out. Far from it. I was so turned on I could barely breathe with it. Or maybe I couldn't breathe because now Jasper was matching my moves, taking my upper lip and using tongue and teeth against it.

I was moaning and making unintelligible noises into Jasper's mouth, I knew this. But I couldn't stop it. Not when Jasper was curling his tongue around mine, drawing it into his mouth, sucking on it and making me think about blow jobs and getting naked in a hurry with him.

Fingers curled around my arms, gripping me tightly, and I couldn't help bringing my hands to Jasper's neck. I wanted to bury my hands in Jasper's hair, run my fingers through it and grip it tight while he made me come.

_Oh fuck, am I really thinking these things?  
_  
I was, really truly was. And I was hopelessly turned on. So much so that I didn't realize Jasper was pushing me down until I was flat on my back and he was lying on top of me.

"Will you let me touch you, Edward?" Jasper was moving against me, one arm bracing his weight while the other traced down the lines of my torso to my waist.

I think I actually gulped when Jasper's fingers started running along the band of my underwear, dipping in just a little bit and teasing the skin there. "Yeah. I think, yeah, I want you to."

His mouth was hot against my neck as he pulled my cock out, so hard it hurt and leaking at the tip, gripping me tightly and stroking up and down. It felt so good, better than when a girl did it because Jasper had a cock of his own, knew how to work it himself.

"Feel good, baby?" Jasper's hand was picking up speed, thumb rubbing my head with every upstroke, swirling around the precome and making everything feel even better.

"Oh God, yeah."

I couldn't help thrusting up into his hand, fucking his fist as he sucked on the sensitive skin where shoulder meets neck. My hands reached around to his ass, cupping and digging into each cheek as he continued to rut against me. It wasn't enough, though, and soon I was dipping my hands past the waistband of his briefs, feeling his heated skin and gripping so hard I was afraid I'd bruise him.  
Every time Jasper thrust against me, stroked my cock, I pushed his underwear down a little bit further, until his entire ass was exposed. The fabric was caught on his own cock, though, making it impossible to subtly get him naked against me.

"Maybe," I stuttered out while Jasper relentlessly jerked me off, "I could touch you too."

Jasper looked up at me, his eyes glazed over and mouth hanging open. "Hell yes."

Some tricky maneuvering went down as Jasper never let go of my dick, yet somehow pushed his briefs down to his knees. He let himself fall back on top of me, this time both of his hands up by my head and it was all I could do to not lose it right then and there when I felt his cock against mine.

He moved slowly against me, precome and sweat making things slick and slippery. I had never felt anything so fucking good. It was so new and different and goddamn hot. And it only got better when Jasper reached down and grabbed my hand wrapping it around both of us, leading me to jerk and pull and twist around the heads.

"Nnggh." I couldn't even talk, I was so turned on.

"Yeah, baby, so good." His hand kept pace with mine, both circling our shafts tightly and stroking faster. " You feel so good in my hand." I was impressed Jasper could form sentences.

We both kept moving, thrusting our cocks together as he stroked us faster. I reached my free hand around and couldn't help tightening my grip on his ass, pulling him closer until I could feel his balls slap against mine. Without really thinking about it, I slid my finger up and down the cleft of Jasper's ass. He shivered and moaned and I knew he liked it. So I did it again, only pressed further in, not going actually inside but teasing the sensitive skin.

"Fuck, Edward. Want you inside me. Want you to fuck me."

"Mhm, want to. Do that. So bad."

I was panting now, so close and aching to come. My fingers kept tracing up and down, closer and closer to Jasper's entrance, imagining how tight he'd be. When the tip of my finger pressed against the ring of muscle, I felt Jasper shudder against me. He swore and came, warmth splattering my chest.

Jasper pulled away slightly, enough so that it was just my dick he was holding. His hand was covered in come, moving up and down me faster and so slick and good. He kissed me hard, biting at my lips and moaning obscene things into my mouth. When I felt the pressure of two of his fingers on the spot just behind my balls, I lost it and spilled all over his hand.

I was still shuddering, eyes shut tight as I let my body come down from such an intense high, when Jasper rolled off me. Even though he'd said he wanted me, even though my body clearly wanted it too, I was starting to freak out again. I'd never been with a guy, or even thought about it before and what did this mean for my entire fucking life of fucking girls? How could I be gay and never know it?

Oh God, the reality of it all was starting to sink in. Could I really be gay? What would I tell my family, my friends? Would they still accept me?

I knew I liked Jasper, could pretty much own up to finding him attractive. But was that enough to do...whatever it was two gay men do together? I hadn't even ever really been in a relationship with a woman, was I really ready for something like that with a guy?

My head began to throb and I realized I had been shaking my head even as Jasper tried to still it with his hands.

"Edward." His voice was gentle yet commanding, and Jasper brought his hand up to my face. "I really like you. I think you know that." His finger traced along my eyebrow and i leaned into the touch. "But if you're not comfortable with this, if you're not _sure_, I don't want you to feel pressured or trapped or whatever."

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out.

"Take some time to think about it, okay, if you would maybe like to try being with a guy. With me."

Fuck, he was being so nice. Even after I let him get me off and still managed to freak out. "Jasper."

"It's okay, Edward. I've waited this long in hopes of making you see me as more. What's a little while longer if it means you'll be sure?"

"Fuck." I scrubbed at my eyes, willing away the frustration away that clouded my vision.

"It's okay," he repeated, then leaned over to place a quick, soft kiss against my forehead. "You hungry? How bout I make us some breakfast?"

Even though my stomach was rumbling, I had no appetite. "No. I think I should probably get going." I needed to get home and think through everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.

Jasper's face fell. "Alright. Call me? I mean, if you want to, later, after you've decided on..." He cut off awkwardly, but his eyes still shown bright and hopeful.

"Yeah." I couldn't help but smile, just a bit, at him. God but he was cute. "Yeah, I'll call you later."

"Cool."

There was an awkward hug at the door before I stumbled to my car, reeling over my life's new developments.

O.O

Instead of driving to my apartment, i made my way to my parents' losing myself as I drove down familiar winding roads. There was nothing for me in the small two bedroom I rented that would help me figure thing out. Not like what was available to me at home. I decided to call ahead of time, so they'd know I was on my way. Hopefully I could slip in without my mom seeing though, since I still reeked of booze and spunk. That would make things even more difficult.

_"Hello?"  
_  
"Alice? I need your help."


End file.
